Heavenly Doubt
I can feel it coming down, the angel sent from heaven to watch me fail
To take my hand as I turn pale
As white as the light, how did I become so frail?
I’m ready to battle, I’m ready for this
The agony to end in emotionless bliss
It’s all too beautiful to miss
I can taste it on my lips
The sweet tickles of love and I start to reminisce
The good old days, when I wasn’t as strong
But it didn’t matter life just pulled me along
I know I was weak, I know I still am
But that doesn’t matter, I try and do all I can
To get to my knees when I’m pushed into sand
I sink so quickly I almost can’t
But somehow I make it; I’m able to stand
The angels are coming, to take this weak child away
It’s another death, another day
There is no other, this is how it must be
The children are crying losing their sanity
The angels are coming, to free all of the young
But I must stay; the only one
I must learn, to not be broken
The angel beside me holds my hand as the commands are spoken
The demons and devil arise; the ghosts are awoken
And they are coming from me, deep down inside
The deepest darkest places where who knows what else hides
I am their disguise
It’s me or them, only one may survive
It’s me or them, one side must die
I must learn to stand tall, and keep up my stride
I will never, be truly whole
Because even if I win they still own my soul
The never ending pull, to become what I was made to be
But that’s not me, that’s not what I want
I want to have my own destiny and my own train of thought
So I will fight, for who I was, am, and who I will be
Because whether I live or die, there is only one certainty
If I die, I’ll have lived for nothing
But if I live, then I have the chance to actually be something
Whether its loving, or disgusting,
I have to win
Because I’d rather have my endless eternity of agony start late rather than soon
Here’s my calling; this is my doom
(2013)
