Trying out a new style

You’ve got cold hands
Tight on my burning crush
You know, I never got a favor from winter
 
I got sunshine
I need happy and high
Don’t pour your rain on my parade
 
You know, I never got a favor from winter
 
And she never shared a secret with me
 
I got the desire to stay nice and dry
So now my love don’t drench me
I don’t feel the need to cry
I hope and dream every night and day
That sometime you’ll realize, one can only pray
 
You know, I never got a favor got a favor from winter, don’t ya know
I never got a favor from winter
 
And she never shared a secret with me

(2013)

  • 0
  • 0
  •  
  •  
Login to comment...
Cory Garcia
over 7 years

Practical...Baby, don't go pouring your rain on our paradeStop at... she never shared a secret with meGirl your making me cry becomes Baby I'm not gonna lieThen add something biting at the end that let's em know what they are going to miss out onTruth is... as cool as you are... like cold jazz poured out over hot running love... my heart will only take so much... before it seeks its own release...In other words... she's got it... you want it... but the window of opportunity is not always going to be there :)

Cory Garcia
over 7 years

It works for me :)Only suggestion... and its subjective... its good to show vulnerability but the "baby please" lines and the "your making me cry line" don't fit.Your voice is cool and edgy
throughout (still vulnerable which is good) but those lines sound like begging...I think you can pull it off without those lines and have em swooning... in other words let em know what you want and that you want it with them... if they pass it up its their loss because you are the quality man... exhibiting strength and openness and an ability to convey something that most do not possess :)Never ever let anyone mistake a desire as begging or that you don't have control over your own happiness... truth is they don't... because as I said... your the man :)Excellent job!

Email

Other works by Silverfish...

Some poets followed by Silverfish...

shadowchick Cory Garcia rambling woman Isaac Eustice Jill Marie gia frisco