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The Doorway

There was a hidden doorway
Made of thickest stone
I tried my best to enter
I gave it crown and throne
 
I fought with deepest want
I bore to it my heart
I stood as still as silence
I created endless art
 
And still it would not open
And I felt so defeated
Like everything within me
Was utterly depleted
 
I hid myself away
“Why, something must be wrong...”
So much was there inside me
It echoed fierce and strong
 
And slowly I would wither
For there was no more to give
And sometimes it was hard
To truly want to live
 
I never felt so vulnerable
So purposely confused
Like all that shone within me
Was coveted and used
 
To be some entertainment
For doors so tightly melded
Concealing the laughing heart
That to another welded
 
And the sickest part of all
Was that I wanted more
I wanted all that love
Like I never had before
 
I saw my thin reflection
In a subtle change of light
That gave me just enough
To breathe again and fight
 
To know that I’m enough
And worth some passing glance
When it all comes through again
And I need another chance
 
To discover something real
And cleanse the burning ache
From what would make me tremble
And cause my earth to quake
 
And it waits behind a doorway
Made of thickest stone
I sit before it a stranger
Watchful and alone
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