I Don’t Know
Why am I here writing, I don't know,
You won’t read it anyways or
You won’t care when you do
Because whatever got you in this mood
Won’t let you give a shit about me.
But I know that you do.
Somewhere in there, you’re furious at yourself
For messing this up
For not being able to just show me you care
Because if you didn’t care, you wouldn’t
Have cried like you did but
What am I supposed to say now
When all I’ve heard is “I don’t know”?
What do you want, I don’t know
Then what do I do, I don’t know
Are you gonna fucking fight for me,
I don’t know.
Guess the answer’s no, I know
You did what you could but the brain
Is a powerful thing and you
Just couldn’t get through to yourself—
The you that still loves me, that is.
If what you said is true, you’ll wake up
In the morning and feel like normal.
And maybe you’ll realize you were wrong
Maybe you’ll come back and it’ll go my way
Good for me,
Maybe you won’t, well,
You can’t really hurt me any worse now,
And you wouldn’t have if you’d stayed here.
I would walk to the ends of the world for you
If you would let me—
You didn’t let me though, you said
You couldn’t do that to me because
You didn’t know if it would get better soon enough,
You didn’t want me to resent you, well
You made a rash decision and just left
Now we both get to just be more miserable,
Because it’s easier this way, well
I don’t want easy, I want worth it—
You’re worth it, we were worth it.
But will I get over you, probably.
Do I want to be, not in the slightest.
Will I get another chance, I hope so.
How do I ask, I don't know
So what, I’m the girl asking for a chance
Through some shitty poem
If you’d call it that it's more of
A jumble of thoughts I’ve had all day
But I’ve been distracting myself so
I wouldn't just cry over you, I would. So what?
So if you still love me tomorrow and if you still care,
Let me back in, let me decide what I can take,
Let me be there for you,
And love me the way you promised.
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