You have to believe to commit And they think we’re crazy to beli… And would commit us as inpatients If only they had the patience But their patience has worn thin

Two things can be true at the same… 1. Logic tells us what we can and… 2. Paradox tells us God can do wh… More importantly God sees what we cannot do

We think nothing’s shocking since we’ve seen it all when really it’s because we’re blind to the obvious

The ferocity of narcissistic rage Is in direct proportion to the dis… The depths of their contempt And the heights of their self-rega… Healing for the narcissist will on…

I am going to delay early retirement until everyone is middle class

At this late juncture All eating is competitive eating But in the world to come All competition will be An excuse for a feast

Even when I’ve had sweet dreams Sleeping leaves a bad taste in my… Because even good dreams are bad d… Since the worst thing you can do t… Is to fulfill his wishes

Liberalism deepened by religion Religion widened by liberalism Until the body and soul politic Is so deep That it swallows our fears

My wife is a lot like God If God weren’t perfect Like Him, she’s my toughest criti… But also my fiercest champion

When I run out of things to do I write an itinerary: When all else fails fill sandbags to convert

Each question on the purity test concludes with the following promp… Which two answers are correct? And you always have the same four choices:

When God closes one store He opens another

Our civilization is like an egg– It can withstand enormous pressure at the top (for the obvious reasons) and bottom

I can’t guess your age but I can guess your age when you got that tattoo

I believe in a future in which man perfects the art of expressing his discontent in bushes that look like clouds