It took the spies of Five Eyes to tell that Putin wasn’t bluffin’ But just ask the staff at Five Gu… and they’ll tell you Trump’s MacG… He longs for Daddy’s approval
Paper comes from trees but when money was made of paper we all agreed that money doesn’t grow on trees
A man starts out lying for instant gratification Inevitably, this progresses to buy… his unending rationalizations
When you come in peace I fall to pieces And then collect myself For the gathering storm
It turns out that the afterlife is only as long as you can keep the exit interview go…
Whoever said It’s lonely at the top must have never had their own spelling group in third grade
Denial leaves a vacuum that is ever filled by wishful thinking
Jews will tell you Right up front That they believe They are the chosen people WASPs believe that they believe
When life gives you A bottomless pit Fill it with Bottomless fries
I may look like a tall glass of water but be– ware, I’m half empty
Whenever I hurt someone I’m sure that I’m a honeybee about to die But it always turns out that I’m…
It could be the truth if it couldn’t go viral But it’s definitely pravda if it speeds our downward spiral
Do me a favor and riddle me this: Is he favored to win Because he’s our favorite Or is he our favorite Because he’s favored to win?
Many people think of life as a gift but to me it’s more like
According to experts There are only seven basic plots Limited to the believable There are no experts on the truth Because the truth