When I die I’m go– ing to donate my body to pseudoscience
Before the culture war you could talk to someone anyone say what you think and, when necessary, append a
A smart phone is 1/7 billionth of a doomsday machine
We’ve gone from individuals distinguishing themselves from the… begging to differ– “Whatever it is, I’m against it”- to groups
You can’t take it with you tells us how to live well But we think it means living forev… and so, we’ve invested in Shell In the hopes that our savings will…
We treat life as if Postponing the inevitable When we should be busy Preparing for the inestimable
When people give you the silent treatment have them put it in writing
As the new Assistant to the Deput… your primary initial responsibilit… 1) Establishing détente between wo… and paleo dietary restriction fact… while maintaining the dining hall’…
They used to pay us A penny for our thoughts But then they realized We would pay them To think for us
God broke in half-way through my prayer and said You’re on mute
All forms of life have an unconsci… sentient animals have developed co… to extend the unconscious’ operati… and human beings have developed la… to make consciousness the unconsci…
The left believes that the culture war can be won by winning elections The right believes that the culture war can be won
We’ve got enough to go on That there’s enough for everybody So long as we are tough enough But we couldn’t leave well enough… And soon enough
When I got my first honey-do list after the wedding I explained to my bride that I us… until I was bitten by one of the 5… that don’t make webs
When I ask myself if I might be wrong, there’s a whole lot of red tape
