Science was happily letting the cat out of the bag until Schrodinger’s Cat was found in and out of the bag at the same time

Liberalism deepened by religion Religion widened by liberalism Until the body and soul politic Is so deep That it swallows our fears

I wear black socks On the outside Because black is how I feel In the onside

We treat life as if Postponing the inevitable When we should be busy Preparing for the inestimable

1. Make so much money you could he… 2. Remind yourself that “there’s n… 3. Tell yourself you need to feed… 4. Eat like kings

When the loyal opposition smelled a rat the administration’s defense centered on the fact that it wasn’t the rats that had carrie…

Would my dentist still want me to floss if he knew that’s how I justified not going to the dentist

Aristocracy failed because it couldn’t keep some of the people happy all of the time Democracy is failing because

My wife sleeps on her back while I sleep in the mis– take prone position

It turns out they were right when they removed the self-destruc… explaining You won’t be needing this anymore now that you have autocorrect

Theoretically, Schrodinger’s Cat is both alive and dead at the same time In reality, cats have nine lives and one death

Since seeing is believing all that we really want is kept out of sight, out of mind leaving everything we think we kno… to the imagination

Unlike echolocation language doesn’t bounce off an obj… Instead language encounters the world and… allowing you to get lost

Heart cancer is vanishingly rare because a heart of gold only spreads love, not gold while a mind of gold inevitably spreads all the way

God said satis– faction guaranteed; religion is all the fine print