If we’re being scientific, then The more certain you are that quan… The less certain you become as to… i.e., It works like a charm And if we’re being honest, when

At the end of life you can either say I brought it or I bought it

Feminism’s big mistake is thinking it can use a power vac… to clean up the patriarchy’s mess

I’ll never forget when a guy standing in his front yard confronted me about looking into parked car windows mistaking me for a car thief

But you will always get a second chance to make a false impression

Instead of dismantling oppression we dismantled the printing press inaugurating the Information Age when no news is good news all information is disinformation

During the rodeo clown shortage nobody thought that the rodeo mime… but the mimes surprised everyone distracting the bulls by silently evoking the dignity

Mid-life crisis: the failure to start hoping you don’t get what you want

At first we thought This changes everything We weren’t exactly wrong But, of course Everything is highly adaptable

People want the lockdown to be enforced with facial recognition technology because they don’t recognize thems…

You’ll know you’re but a prop In someone else’s mise en scene When, after the photo op And the choir’s said amen You’re left to close up shop

One party rule Finally clicked in America When the ruling party rebranded As the Pajama Party

My wife and I have remained happi… because she recognizes me as capta… as long as I acknowledge her as air traffic control

Actually, we all died in the pande… Life– I can’t afford not to Pandemic life– I can’t afford to… The afterlife– I can’t afford not…

There are neither good people nor normal people just people who are good at sticki…