My first meeting with God was ver… I knocked on the door and said “Excuse me?” God didn’t look up from what He w… As He calmly and firmly explained

Because I never learned anything… I learned the hard way that it’s the only way to learn anything at all

Whereas Stanford decided to make its mascot a tree my wife is a decision tree and I am her mascot even though I couldn’t get into S…

There is no Status quo But there is Status

I grew up in the Neighborhood of… where if someone already had their… it was usually based on something… Now I live in the Land of Make T… where if someone’s mind is already…

First, we learn how to walk Then we learn how to walk away For many of us This takes the rest of our lives But if we never give up

Home isn’t Where you go And they have to take you in No such place exists Home is

In the battle between good and evil good appears to be playing for a tie Evil,

The biggest change in my lifetime Has been the change in the meaning… They don’t have a prayer It used to mean They don’t have a chance

I tried doing everything right Until I dug a hole Took a right turn at Albuquerque And realized There are no straight lines in my…

The struggle to become an individual in no way implies the need to be unique

We spend our whole lives going in… Our mistake is believing that we’r… When we’re always either Slowly spiraling upwards Or caught in a downward spiral

The first half of life: Did I say that? The second half of life: I did say that The end of life:

It’s because certain questions will get you killed that certain other questions are also answers

When an American marries into a brood of Scots it’s a matter of when and not if we overdo it with the family tarta…