Carry a pen, should you need to write “Note to self: Congratulations!”
The most useful pawn is the one who believes himself king
The eternal flame at Al Gore’s tomb works like the light in a refriger… and only burns when you look at it
The discomfort that Americans now all evince in one another used to be reserved for old people who get rich quick
The second half of life is a second chance to give as much as I have received
Before I met you the happiest I’d ever been was when everything I’d ever wante… was on lay-away because I didn’t have to make any…
When at last Our time comes Just as we realize the need To give things time It will have come to pass
You cannot beat God in any sport but you can tie Him in bowling
Note that the male tes– tes are exactly the size of small potatoes
The answer man is left with a ques… What does a woman want? The question woman is stuck with a… A good man is hard to find but eas…
I need the guy who trains your mind so that you can walk barefoot across hot coals to come to my house
I never really knew what postmodern meant until I moved to the internet when from time to time
People are only willing to wait and see when they already know what they are looking for
I could do a passable moonwalk in socks on linoleum but if I put on one glove I had to take off one sock
If you feel like you’ve been getting away with something you’ve probably been cheating yourself