I can’t get no satisfaction except self-satisfaction and I pity the fool who would want that
What I lack in hygiene I make up for in sleep hygiene
Before I met you the happiest I’d ever been was when everything I’d ever wante… was on lay-away because I didn’t have to make any…
All the real archetypes are from the circus and I thought I was a clown until I found myself shot from a cannon
Once you have gained accession to the object of your obsession you’ll remain incapable of graspin… let alone even asking if you just might be the object of…
Under new management, hell now consists of friendly fire
The cogito may be airtight but its reverse– I am, therefore I think– is less certain
Breathe in not out
The left believes that the culture war can be won by winning elections The right believes that the culture war can be won
You can’t take both forks in the road but you can overpack
How do I love me? Let me count t… I love me to the depths of my stom… and when in line in front of a lum… I’ll take the last fried rice in t… I love me to the level of Wall St…
People think that the spork didn’t include any aspects of the… because the serrated edge of the prospective all-in-one utensil kept slicing open the focus group…
My wife fell right back in love with me when we came up with a rubric
If you count the rings on a tree stump it will tell you the cost of doing business
The human condition is either thinking that we’re free when we’re actually held captive or thinking that we’re captive when we’re actually free