I have half a mind to lose my mind and half a mind to find God The question, natch
Marriage is the only place I’m neither feature nor bug but both
I could do a passable moonwalk in socks on linoleum but if I put on one glove I had to take off one sock
I have a bad habit of predicting the future; it has kept me alive but only to fight another day And yes, my brain is pattern-seeki…
God broke in half-way through my prayer and said You’re on mute
It’s easier for capitalism to end than to imagine the end of capital…
Civilization is an attempt to filibuster death
As mysterious as the caterpillar bursting into the butterfly a lifetime of following all the ru… somehow prepared them to change all the rules
Asked for his thoughts on God the materialist replied Nothing doing The mystic said Exactly
For twenty years people kept insis… that there was an elephant in the… but I just didn’t see it And then I realized I was the elephant
When an American marries into a brood of Scots it’s a matter of when and not if we overdo it with the family tarta…
It’s always a bad idea To admit you have no idea Put another way: No idea is a bad idea You get the idea
I bought a Toyota because it’s bulletproof to compensate for the fact that I’m not even rubber bulletproof
Tom Brady keeps a portrait of him… that is becoming progressively more likable
In the final battle between Good and Evil both sides were allowed but one weapon Good didn’t think twice;