We ask people How are you doing? because it’s the easiest way to prevent them from actually telling us how they are doing
Self-flattery will get you everywhere but there’s nowhere left to go
Somewhere between 27% and 53% of… none of which students can legally… is wasted Let’s split the difference and call it 40%
The US Constitution rules out cruel and unusual punishment but that and a nickel will get you 1% of a cup of coffee now that cruelty is the usual
No shoes, no shirt, no service Just say no Do not pass go, do not collect $20… Don’t call us, we’ll call you No pain, no gain
The culture war is a secret weapon in the class war which the haves use to keep the have nots
I may look like a tall glass of water but be– ware, I’m half empty
You can’t prove that God exists But even if you could People would just say Correlation does not imply causati…
I don’t care about birds but I thrill when the squirrels can’t get to the birdseed
It’s almost impossible to tell the difference between self-effacement and self-abasement In the former he stays down to earth
Pay attention to what is said: “One day we hope to enable every p… to feel as strong a sense of conne… as you feel when you’re physically with someone you love”
Life is either A whole lotta nothing Or a whole lotta love Nothing could be easier than love Then again
When they drew a winner It looked like we’d won By the luck of the draw But we came by our good fortune The honest way:
Keep your friends close your enemies closer and your neighbor closest
My life used to be An open book Now it’s an open state secret
