When people give you the silent treatment have them put it in writing

The world to come will be Exactly the same But for one startling difference: God’s love will never go unrequite…

Mid-life is when you realize you’re in a clown car The end of life is about accepting that of all the clowns

Is it live? Let’s go to instant replay For constant analysis While we wait and see And while we wait for it

When I ask What’s wrong? It’s always short for What’s wrong with me?

My wife and I have remained happi… because she recognizes me as capta… as long as I acknowledge her as air traffic control

The only way to avoid giving the man who has everything more of the same is to give him nothing

Tech’s greatest feat is maintaining the illusion that we’re finally rid of the middle man when in fact

Setting aside crimes of passion, when people commit crimes it’s eit… they think they can get away with… or because they want to get caught Either way, they’re guilty;

You can’t take it with you tells us how to live well But we think it means living forev… and so, we’ve invested in Shell In the hopes that our savings will…

Maya Angelou says we have one hand to help others and one hand to help ourselves

When I caught my wife cutting up… she said it was to prevent birds getting stuck in them like six-pac…

A wise man once told me that there are two kinds of family prob… He said Family Problem #1 is not having a family

Just as Tastes like chicken is code for I only want chicken I don’t know what I want

Most lives are lived in service to one institution or another but only very recently has this begun to feel