It was always true that if you tried to save the relationship by looking the other way eventually they’d want to be

Thanks to his bifocals Ben Franklin could see that while we might look like bald… up close we’re clearly turkeys

I can’t guess your age but I can guess your age when you got that tattoo

As long as there have been people there have been people wearing mas… the difference now is that each mask comes with an entire cos…

Were I not happily married to my Jewish bride I would have happily lived out the rest of my days none the wiser

Fight fire With fire Accordingly, A bureaucracy can solve any proble… With more paperwork

In a failed democracy the one thing both sides can agree on is that the real traitors are the loyal opposition

You can’t take both forks in the road but you can overpack

My wife sleeps on her back while I sleep in the mis– take prone position

For a long time, the centrists were at the center of attention where the action was But now they find themselves at the center of a hall of mirrors

Let good intentions be my sword and naivete my shield

Life can seem meaningless But I’ve found that Meaning is never lifeless

When the whole world is a disaster area everyone becomes a comic relief worker

Human cloning only started to take… Once it became clear that The original becomes a copy of the…

I’ll give you the forest And I’ll take the trees You save the whales And I’ll keep the bees The sand in your eyes