When words fail you’re getting close to the truth But we’re just about to talk ourselves into

Denial was a lot easier when your head was in the clouds but your memories were stored on microfiche

If you want to remain married one partner should stay busy moving the goalposts while the other focuses on running out the clock

There’s equality And there’s e-quality You know the former when you see i… You know the latter when it sees y…

Takeoff always happens just as we are running out of runway

I’ve reached the age where getting ready for bed is like preparing for a spacewalk

Never trust anyone who doesn’t believe in hell They’re almost always the ones whose idea of heaven is usurping God

Everybody impersonates who they used to be but only some are impostors

If the world exists on a continuum between utopia and dystopia but instead of polar opposites utopia and dystopia are both hell then at the exact midpoint

I need the guy who trains your mind so that you can walk barefoot across hot coals to come to my house

Quick Draw McGraw taught us that in the wild wild west it’s better… shoot first and ask questions late… But Quick Bluff McGruff the Cyb… knows that on the World Wide Web…

Antisemitism is suddenly easy to f… It’s a mile wide and just scratch the surface an inch deep– You’ll find it there

Descartes wanted certainty He got it Now we’re stuck with it Uncertain how we get unstuck Does this mean we’re doomed or sav…

I have what I need I know what I want I do all that I can until my day… My God does all the rest Or

The two-week lockdown To bend the curve Turned into a year-and-a-half That bent our minds When