We have passed from an age of temporary solutions for permanent… consider religion and death– to an era of permanent solutions for temporary…

The number one rule For doing a number on us Is taking a number Because when our number comes up It’s only ever because our days ar…

When people say I live on my phone I wonder how they withstand the pr… Of eight tons per square inch

I’m sad to say I’ve never been happier And I’m happy to say I’ve never been sadder All of which is to say

I don’t get mad I get odd

Life is a movie in which childhood is a sequel to your pare… adulthood is a prequel for your ch… and making it to old age is living in a spin-off

The older I get the less I pause for effect This is because the clock is ticking and I’d rather not waste my time

How do I love me? Let me count t… I love me to the depths of my stom… and when in line in front of a lum… I’ll take the last fried rice in t… I love me to the level of Wall St…

When I put a period at the end of my text message it means that

The worst part about giving every kid in little league a trophy is the way it has emptied all the… out of acquiring

At night in the city you can only see three stars but you still have to give them five stars

In hopes of finally nailing down All the right answers We converted English into math Filtering language through ones an… Making all stories into word probl…

In failing to put the I in team I took the erotic out of neurotic

Asked to account for his success w… he explained that he drives his ca… like he won it on The Price Is R…