In the latest version of Captain… Captain America’s archenemy is Captain Obvious for all the obvious reasons
The two-week lockdown To bend the curve Turned into a year-and-a-half That bent our minds When
It’s still wise not to panic but now it’s because you need to keep your powder dry for a moral panic
As the Zamboni driver erasing everything that just happe… so it can all happen again I am preparing for my own death
He was the kind of husband who when his wife asked him to stop sa… complied but started looking for excuses to… panda bear
I thought they’d finally say Mea culpa But they still just said Me
In this, the year of efficiency AI chatbots exposed a deficiency Because there’s nothing worse In the known metaverse Than a lingering sense of self-suf…
History’s first lesson– the ABCs– is that, unless coerced not to people kill the ones they hate History’s second lesson–
Faced with a forced choice The agnostic feigns ignorance For if you ask a woman to marry yo… And she says I don’t know
I’ll never forget when a guy standing in his front yard confronted me about looking into parked car windows mistaking me for a car thief
Social media is proof of concept That you can please Some of the people all of the time And this starts to feel mighty pow… But this feeling is a forgetting
Peanut butter’s not very good by itself but chocolate is Because I’m not very religious it’s important for me
The most common rookie mistake is thinking that because you know what you were saved from that you also know what you were saved for
Am I winning If I am Beating a dead horse
In the official version of my life I love my life In real life I love life itself
