I may not be deep but I compensate for it by getting deep into the weeds

When I caught my wife cutting up… she said it was to prevent birds getting stuck in them like six-pac…

If the truth were merely regarded as false it might still have found its purpose but once degraded into

The difference between poisonous snakes and venomous human beings is that when the snake bites you and explains

You start out needing money to advance your ideology but you end up mouthing your ideol… to rake in more money

It’s important to me to live in a… with museums, big league sports, n… so that I can enjoy staying home Baltimore has a subway I’ve never… When I lived in Los Angeles I ac…

Because there is no I in lions, if a lion could talk, it couldn’t say I Which is to say, a lion can starve but never lacks,

I never believed in automatic writ… until I tried my hand at TikTok and felt an invisible hand gently (as in pleasantly) but insistently (as in relievedly)

After years of therapy the stump came to see that there was an I, two even, in the giving tree

My utopia is a dystopia where I get to say I told you so

Why bother keeping score when death assures that things always end in a tie Soon you’ll be able to get rid of death

Higher education purports to prepare you for life when really it exists to indebt you for life, expanding campus ideology

It was only when I shared my out of body experience that I came to understand it was nothing out of character

I’ve never won an argument with my wife but since I learned to let her have the last word I’ve consistently covered the spre…

If I’ve said it once they’ve liked it a thousand times