I was waiting for my ship to come… But maybe I should have made like… And built a ship Especially since my neuroses all c… You’ve probably heard of them–

The difference between Mother Nature and God the Father is that the former doesn’t suffer fools gladly while the latter

I have a prediction to make: We can’t predict the ending But when it’s all said and done Everything will seem obvious For example,

People will only tell the truth when they think they can get away with it For example, perjury laws only wor… by publicly threatening jail time

A funny thing happened when I told them that you can either laugh or you can cr… No one laughed but for a second

When the loyal opposition smelled a rat the administration’s defense centered on the fact that it wasn’t the rats that had carrie…

The truth is true Is a tautology The truth is untried and true Is an etiology

Reasonable people can disagree By agreeing to disagree But unreasonable people Can’t disagree on anything So, they have to agree on everythi…

Everybody knows That everybody hates group project… But everybody is a group project Which is why everybody hates thems… Unless the group wisdom

Telling ourselves half-truths Is worse than telling ourselves li… Because Although the truth will set you fr… Just as you can’t be half pregnant

Like the distended sleeve On the fake Gordon Gartrell Denise made for Theo A giraffe’s long neck Reveals it as

It would have been enough Had God merely kept His promises But since He knows a thing or two About human psychology God always under-promises and over…

People complain that religion tell… missing the point that it enables… other people telling you what to d…

Domination is feudal But resistance seems futile And lo, we canoodle With the large standard poodle We all know as boodle

Humble pie is A required taste Until it becomes An acquired taste