Where once man strove to move mountains now he settles for making them

People think that their report car… will be graded Pass/Fail but since God has a mysterious rep… He gives two grades in every subje… You get an A for effort

As you age getting enough exercise in futility becomes more and more a portent

Many con artists have a moral awakening; even more realize that the only compassionate thing to do is continue the con

Theoretically, Schrodinger’s Cat is both alive and dead at the same time In reality, cats have nine lives and one death

Human beings are social creatures because even though we can only ever talk to ourselves it works better when we talk to ou… in the presence of others

Asked to account for his success w… he explained that he drives his ca… like he won it on The Price Is R…

My biggest mistake In fantasy football Is expecting today To be like yesterday Come to think of it

I don’t care about birds but I thrill when the squirrels can’t get to the birdseed

The internet wants to tell you a l… Instead, let me tell you a secret: After the Holocaust Antisemitism was buried just deep… That it came to seem an anachronis…

When the people believe The Constitution protects and uph… Their varying beliefs But when the people don’t believe Embracing nihilism by replacing G…

By preserving crucial memories Your amygdala prepares for the fut… Through understanding the past By digging strategic memory holes The internet controls the present

All relationships but one Are located on a continuum From one pole of complete trust To the opposite pole of total fear The exception that proves the rule

At first everyone was to be followed by a p… to protect us from terrorists or kill us if we were terrorists But then it was decided that