All forms of certainty are mutations of knowing that you must die which is why the true believer is always the most likely
Blood is thicker than water Unless it’s blood From a turnip
I used to pretend that Kafka’s The Trial was my favorite book but these days I bring a courtroom stenographer with me
The opposite of bad breath Isn’t good breath It’s fresh breath Because all breath is good So, you never have to hold your br…
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (C… Holds that there is a sequence In which an experience is followed… By a belief, a thought, and a feel… Fair enough
Power is a measure of the capacity to cope with our lack of control and in wielding our power to take control
By preserving crucial memories Your amygdala prepares for the fut… Through understanding the past By digging strategic memory holes The internet controls the present
The number one rule For doing a number on us Is taking a number Because when our number comes up It’s only ever because our days ar…
We all know death is coming and yet it remains a surprise ending
It never snows anymore in Baltimore but it did before you left open the refrigerator doo…
I spent most of my life naively believing that people mean what they say Then I came to understand that even when people don’t mean what t…
An antisemite is someone who sees… And wants to keep it for himself So hear me, antisemites– Your obsession Does not make us
My wife is a lot like God If God weren’t perfect Like Him, she’s my toughest criti… But also my fiercest champion
While others await the second coming my own second shortcoming (the first– keeping the peace
A poem is worth A thousand pictures A life is worth A thousand paper cuts So, if I were to