Ever since I got my first smartphone it feels like I’m visiting a museum and all the decent human beings

Nobody grows up wanting to be a mot– ivational speaker

I was caught between a rock and a hard place unable to decide on a way out Instead, you decided on me

The faceless horde finds strength in numbers by losing themselves in the crowd But when your numbers are small

Don’t think of a pink elephant and while you’re at it Don’t kill the messenger

The only thing Bigger than my ego Is God’s plan for me

You’ve always dressed to impress But it’s only since social media That you can use your appearance To exact compulsory service

When they closed all the beaches my dad said not to worry and I just knew he’d install the swimming pool I’d always wante… Instead, I came home from school

I’ve wasted most of my life wondering Why do I believe in God? when I should have been asking Why does God believe in me?

The difference between God and ma… Is that man can’t abide A free Jew While God will abide With the Jews

An uninterrupted winning streak Can only be had through An unchanging mean streak

The sooner we realize that wholeness is impossible the sooner we can redouble our efforts towards obtai…

If nothing is possible Because of the inevitable– We mortals all die in the end– Then we are left to do the impossi… And become immortal by

At work They know me by my secret identity The mild-mannered Clark Kent But at home with my family I can relax and let them see the r…

The Fed has one lever to pull– interest rates– to keep all of us consuming