Social media has made the famous so accessible that it’s like you can see the face of… but instead of dying you want to take a nap
Believing that one can use social media for good is like thinking one can live in the Matrix without fueling the Machines
I never really knew what postmodern meant until I moved to the internet when from time to time
In a real life version of the ugly duckling discovering s… I was the reject popsicle stick who at long last found out I was a handy tongue depressor
I can only ever seem to do the math in the aftermath
You can’t believe without doubt But if you only believe in doubt Then you’re doubting doubt Which is like Exhaling and exhaling
I thought the Protestant work eth… I saw all the lazy rivers in peopl… until I noticed they were each swi… against the current
Don’t think of a pink elephant and while you’re at it Don’t kill the messenger
When I picked candy apples as my… (think spirit animals for foodies) I honestly had no idea I was naturally sweet but laid it on way too thick
If your phalanges cause you to philander pluck off the ring
If you pursue any vice long enough you’ll either become bored or addi… scratch that– you’ll either become bored and qui… or bored and addicted
My wife fixed me with a stare that said Really, what haven’t you done for…
I still believe that anything is possible It’s just that now nothing would surprise me
It’s taken me this long to underst… like Pee Wee Herman I meant to do that though I’m still unsure why Because as hard as it’s been
On the Mt. Rushmore of cartoon mice I would put four Jerrys