People don’t like surprises so I tell them they’re in for a real surprise which gives them something to look…
My curated self has asked me for a divorce
Soft totalitarianism is like shoes That are just tight enough To remain comfortable If you don’t go anywhere
Because, per Morrissey “We hate it when our friends becom… we got rid of success by eliminating all competition except for the number of friends
I couldn’t believe that my first e… was still carrying a torch for me and then I saw all my other ex’s b… carrying a pitch fork
The jig is finally up When Mr. Cool Goes to shul
Everyone has a shoe size and a city size– I wear an 11 and a half and a 600,000
Once you have gained accession to the object of your obsession you’ll remain incapable of graspin… let alone even asking if you just might be the object of…
My wife fixed me with a stare that said Really, what haven’t you done for…
When they closed all the beaches my dad said not to worry and I just knew he’d install the swimming pool I’d always wante… Instead, I came home from school
Guilt is intolerable which is why “I can explain everything” is processed into “I have a theory which explains ev…
Brexit is a fantasy that a people who previously sat astride a global empire can now sit apart from globalizati… when in reality
You know a civilization by its ass… and ours assumes a great deal of d… To finance that debt we assume that the best predictor of future… is past behavior
We treat life as if Postponing the inevitable When we should be busy Preparing for the inestimable
God is one And God is the one that got away But God is still the one that’s got a way