The decisive moment at the gates o… is exactly like the denouement in Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? but with one twist To make you feel the pressure

The United States’ motto is still In God We Trust but everyone knows that’s come to mean Don’t Get Your Hopes Up

What looks like the wreckage of my life is just my crumple zone doing its job

Male materialists rarely make for marriage material because in their insistence that life’s not fair they further insist

We thought it would last forever but in retrospect we were having a high time at low tide when the clam digging was easy and the eating was good

Because there is no I in lions, if a lion could talk, it couldn’t say I Which is to say, a lion can starve but never lacks,

The world to come is like a signature look that’s always a new look

Unsatisfied with natural consequen… human beings concocted perverse in… which is to say where once we were mere mortals now we are self-defeating

You cannot beat God in any sport but you can tie him in bowling

Civilization began when a discussion group convened to debate the meaning of the phras… The less said, the better

In the real world there is no plot to speak of but plot devices everywhere

It’s when all the signs say Everything must go

Unconditional love is unbearable so there’s always at least one unspoken rule given to its recipie… Just don’t waste it on them

If you’re locked out of your house you can die from exposure but if you’re locked in your house you can die from overexposure

Thanks to his bifocals Ben Franklin could see that while we might look like bald… up close we’re clearly turkeys