The pleasure of a new discovery is only exceeded by the satisfaction of making a recommendation

When Eddie Money said “I’ve got two tickets to paradise” he didn’t mention that the paradise sales team only sells tickets in pairs

We think nothing’s shocking since we’ve seen it all when really it’s because we’re blind to the obvious

I was always trying to find The signal in the noise Until I found God And discovered that It’s all signal

There’s equality And there’s e-quality You know the former when you see i… You know the latter when it sees y…

If we’re all afraid of change and if the more things change the more they stay the same then we’re all afraid that nothing will ever really chan…

My wife fixed me with a stare that said Really, what haven’t you done for…

Free will consists of recognizing the inevitable and choosing wisely

If we’re being scientific, then The more certain you are that quan… The less certain you become as to… i.e., It works like a charm And if we’re being honest, when

Slow and steady wins the race because there isn’t any finish line

The faceless horde finds strength in numbers by losing themselves in the crowd But when your numbers are small

I thought I was Playing to the crowd When all along I was getting Played by the crowd The crowd, it turns out

On a scale of one to ten One being the lowest Ten being the highest Rate yourself Then imagine

You need a high in– come to claim the moral high ground on your taxes

One of the great things about bein… Or, in my case, becoming Jewish Is that every Jew has a voice So, you would be forgiven for thin… Two Jews, two opinions