I survived my humiliation By treating it like a joke Through becoming a joke myself In order to in turn survive my bec… I became a running joke

I couldn’t believe that my first e… was still carrying a torch for me and then I saw all my other ex’s b… carrying a pitch fork

Every story has side effects but the side effects from true sto… may be life threatening

Adolescents are testing the world By way of their parents– Will it, will they Give them what they need Or

The biggest change Since I found God Is who I am Trying to impress Which is how you know

We all know that one word or phras… Can mean two different things But we forget that one thing Can mean two different words or ph… To wit

Ever since I got my first smartphone it feels like I’m visiting a museum and all the decent human beings

There is no mind There is no body There is thinking and there is fee… And I know all too well How you feel

We’re hearing a lot of talk About saving democracy As if we were still A civilization ruled by a majority Which respects the rights of the m…

My wife now relates to me very much as she does to stinky cheese

The first step in bearing the trut… is telling it This will make you unbearable, starting the next step of banishme… Form there, it is up to you

When they told me I was one of many I took them to mean I was the one

I’ve reached the age where getting ready for bed is like preparing for a spacewalk

The first difference between your… When you know your boss’s eyes are… You need to look busy But when you know God’s eyes are… You actually want to get busy

You seem to have caught me in a gr… But it can’t be at all my fault if As you’ll see in the hieroglyph My back is to the cliff Over which the lemmings drift