Instead of shooting bullets into t… to celebrate I raise my leaf blower towards the… On blue moons I do this from my jet ski

I have what I need I know what I want I do all that I can until my day… My God does all the rest Or

Our civilization is like an egg– It can withstand enormous pressure at the top (for the obvious reasons) and bottom

Knowing that everyone agrees you remind them of indoor furniture on the porch tells you nothing about what each of them thinks of you

Like a fine wine liberalism only rises to the subli… with a good pairing

Carry a pen, should you need to write “Note to self: Congratulations!”

Decisions my wife doesn’t make are settled by stare decisis

The true test of power today is whether or not you can be forced to accept a forced apology

A long time ago I received my mission statement: The best version of myself isn’t t… I’m currently on my ten thousandth… Trying to figure out what this mea…

To get into heaven they tell you that you have to answer one question correctly and that there are

If you are taught that asserting yourself is wrong your only defense will be victimho… Knowing this we can reverse engineer

I thought they’d finally say Mea culpa But they still just said Me

The truth might set you free but it’s the half truths that will let you remain neutral

God knows that the only thing you can give the man who has everything is another chance

Don’t fear death– Time is the chisel With which we sculpt the infinite Or if, like me, you work with word… Each day is a first edition