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Chris Gaither

Time Is Up

A la recherche du temps perdu
has been variously translated as
A Remembrance of Things Past
and
In Search of Lost Time
but three years of high school French
is enough to know that
the correct translation
in American English is
Time Was Money

Other works by Chris Gaither...
Love Spreads Unless It’s Spread Thin

I was an idea man with one good idea and I have no idea why they stole my idea of a good t… when they could just have it
In the Age of Paranoia Everyone Will Feel Like They’re Being Followed, Especially by Their Friends

When you cut the umbilical cord children remain reliant on their p… until they start to become self-re… by attaching to their friends as a step towards the full self-re…
Everyone Is a Stranger

Don’t talk to strangers; Sing with them
Over and In

Every time I screw up God says what He has to say and then He says Over and I always think
They Will See the Son of Man Uploaded into the Cloud

It’s not that we’ve abolished death but we’ve made it a mere formality
“A time you may embrace, a time to refrain from embracing”

Eat, drink And be merry But don’t drink And derive
A Vampire Is Just Someone Who Isn’t Getting Enough Vitamin Deity

Blathering on about the threat of the other is a means of slathering on the notion that blocks the light: If I am not what you lack
Apocalypse Later

In wristwatch advertisements the doomsday clock is always set to ten past ten
We Are All Implicated

My wife fixed me with a stare that said Really, what haven’t you done for…
The Neighborhood of Make Believe

We’ve gone from treating people as a means to an end to using them as props for pretend
We’ve All Been Tricked That There’s a Trick to Getting Rich When the Truth Is That the Only Cure for Being Rich Is Hard Work

The mean streets of easy street Lack any meaning– To get there, try going crazy But everybody knows You’d be crazy to try
I’m Pleased to Welcome You to the Zombie Apocalypse

Life is a give and take And since he’ll never give any cri… Because he can’t take any criticis… A people pleaser is the walking de…
 1
There Are No Atheists in Foxholes and There Are Only True Believers in Memory Holes

A memory hole should be just deep enough to bury yourself up to the neck– Any deeper
The Other 20% of Success Is Growing Up

A grown up is someone who knows the right thing to do and does it anyway
What Does It Mean That Words Can Do Anything?

They say seeing is believing but believing is doing so, logically, seeing is doing and I see what you’re doing so, I know what you believe



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