Why would they still offer A penny for our thoughts When they can buy in bulk

I always liked making people laugh until my undergraduates told me that it was an abuse of power asym…

You’ve always dressed to impress But it’s only since social media That you can use your appearance To exact compulsory service

The original version’s working title was The Giveth and Taketh Away Tree but Silverstein couldn’t get it published

There are neither good people nor normal people just people who are good at sticki…

I’ve long since stopped working on myself but I work overtime on my curated self

In all my dreams of flying my life has come

LL Cool J can’t live without his radio For me, it’s my patio

I don’t believe in myself So, I must control God I believe in God So, I can control myself

The internet is the opposite of th… When a memory is repressed you get it back even though you can’t remember it But when it is memory-holed

Our central moral sentiment– that doing the right thing is its… hasn’t done us much good because through it we live in deni… that in this world

My life was about to go down the drain but the drain was clogged

Mid-life crisis: the failure to start hoping you don’t get what you want

I want to believe in God I believe in UFOs I don’t believe in recycling I don’t want to believe in what th…

You’ll know whether you’re there to make things better or to make yourself feel better by how you react when you’re told you can do better