back the soldiers

I swear life’s ending every time you get sent packing.
And I’m scared that it’ll take you in its grip so tight.
I know it owns you,
But my heart is breaking.
And I know you need it.
But every time I hear bout the accidents I’m left shaking.
 
Thinking what if it is him this time,
What if I never again get to see him alive...
Oh what would I do,
If this dark world took you.
 
And I act like it doesn’t affect me cause id feel stupid,
when you see it does affect me...
But then, you changed from being just my friend.
And I know I’m grasping at straws,
And I know we’ll never be in love....
Just to be like them... id give anything
I’d risk it all just to hope you’d catch me if I fall...
 
But iv been fallen and you always seem to catch me.
Well after the sadistic man I feel for left me.
And I miss you calling, and you say its gonna be ok.
But I cant live without you living....
And you may be mad that i said it,
That’s how I feel and id say it again.
 
You mean more to me, than you’ll ever even think of.
And no ill never tell you cause, the risk is too high to be shot down.
But without you id be nothing.
Its just something I Can’t deny.
So fight these battles as the darkness closes in
And ill fight back until I finally win,
Cause id rather be on the front line with you
Than waiting for the news or waiting for you...
To come and tell me its finally over.
 
When will it be over....
when can I cry in front of you as I tell you I’m sorry.
But id be happy you're home safe and well.
I know It’ll anger you that I never did tell...
But when you hurt it hurts me,
when you're there i worry.
When you're home you're safe.
and when you will finally be back here....
 
So hurry up and end this cruel war,
bring back our men and women to the shores.
Let the lovers love and hate be gone
And most of all, bring him here to me
Please god in one piece just send them home.

(2011)

This was wrote when i was going through hell in my life and fell for a friend of mine(nearly ten long years!!) . I adore him but only as a friend again. I'm so glad i can read this and remember what i felt back then and happily know he is home now. I was meant to visit him last year but will with luck be heading to see him soon. He is part of the reason i'm still here and he gets me through the hard days. He doesnt judge me on the fact I love someone who has at times let me down and is now in jail. He's amazing. This poem is for you Jesse and every man/women in the army fighting for our lives.

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