R.I.P Paul

Can’t tell you how it feels,
Cutting deep, this shits unreal.
That i’ve to explain to our younger cousins,
who you where and what you where like.
And your on my mind,
a lot of the time.
 
I don’t mention the attention,
you should of got as a child.
I don’t try bring up how wrong shit gets...
in our family that let’s,
drugs and drink rule it.
 
Who are they fooling?
Telling grandad to give it all up,
when he walks through each door he has to look,
at his own kids drinking the very thing hes addicted to.
And paul,
i’m missing you.
 
You’d love Ray, he’s so like you!
Both two very fucked up men, who have women falling for them again and again,
while you fell and now he falls too.
You where never written off,
for you i always hold love.
 
Even if at times I wanted to beat the shit out of you.
You where like a big brother...
and i’m so sorry I didnt know the hate between your father and mother that only grew when you left.
I’m sorry that this family where clearly dead to you as you died.
 
I think my nan was most affected,
broken by the fact that she seen you where neglected.
I cant stand you can’t be resurrected.
We are always protected by you.
 
And my nan by your side,
telling you now its all right.
Be good please,
and please help ray through this...
Always i’ll  you, love your annoying cousin/ sis.
Forgetting you never,
always now
i’ll love you forever.

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