The feeling of quickening, realising its happing again.
Spinning eyes, can’t focus, cant see.
The purple lies on my nails, showing me.
That I need to eat and sit and breath.
Need to just calm myself and pretend I’m not sick.
But its weakened me...
So much so I just want people to see!
How you tried to change and what you did was over me....
I so selfishly,
Thought I’d want to push through.
Thought Id end my life.
If I’d cancer..
That killed the donor who helped make me,
If I had of had cancer.
And killed myself who would of blamed me?
But I didn’t kill myself, I didn’t die.
I don’t have cancer, not yet i dont know why...
And what I have they can’t seem to find.
They just know I’m sick but I’m alive.
Unlike the man you killed that night...
When really it was fear driving you to kill yourself,
Fearing I’d leave you here being selfish like I was.
I just wanna tell the world,
To go piss off!
Cause I’m the one who pushed you to...
Thinking all along you were killing you
I’m the reason you seen you in him,
The idea of being alone lingered too close to our home.
And now I can’t even breath, knowing all along...
I don’t think you will be coming home....
I think now I really am all alone.
idk if you did it but I can't seem to quit you all I know is I pushed you so fr when I thought I was being strong I was really just being harsh. I'm the guilty one if you took part