I wish you hadn’t wrestled twelve gauge-dynamite-death-stick in my mouth from my hands

You’d have made a beautiful powder-burn-black dress-sobbing mess-bride
For our final dance

Even though without a head a car wash-pay pal-charity case-cremation-farewell
Won’t come cheap

But I’ve always known you’d have two-girls-summer curls-flower dressed-daughters
To carry me

Don’t let them grow to be
street queen-needle feind-sleazy scene-cover girls
Naked in magazines

Don’t forget to not remember me or the years of hurt I caused since you were sixteen,
the Sailor Moon-High School Rich-"if you like it or not"-abandoned angel– swimmer tan and lean
Not yet jaded by me, girl of my dreams

I could’ve been, should’ve been
A garbage bag-spatula-shower drain Autopsy!

I could’ve been  should’ve been
A bright flash-loud bang– “no surgeon needed”
Obituary!

I could’ve been  should’ve been
A rental van-empty church-coffee-can
Eulogy!

Another anonymous  fitting end to a story
Mistaken as a selfish man-"what a waste"
Tragedy!

It wouldn’t have taken long for you to find another to fill my pants, to give you a son, and our girls a brother, you’ll need to love a Bad boy-smart voice-tattooed– tender heart-loves to laugh-jackass
With a gentle touch and rough hands.

OH SHIT! That was supposed TO BE ME!

Fuck it! C’est la Vie.

Written by: J.A. Lütz
Copyright: 9/1/2013


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