These moments when
I feel the razor in my hand
It’s like a call
It’s an unholy demand
I choose my weapon
Lock and load
Pull the trigger
And watch the blood flow
Pull the blade back
Back and fourth
It’s an addiction
I always want more
These moments when
I dread to wake
Knowing that another day
Means another mistake
I wake up
I rot in my self hatred
It makes my blood boil
And my face turn red
This is the time
When I wish to die
I’m tired of being strong
I’m too weak to hide
Are you ready
To see this part
This side of myself
That rips stops my heart
From the inside out
I slowly die
I truly wish
I truly cry
I sweat
I curse
I try to put my life
In reverse
I pull myself out
Of the hole I’ve dug
Just to throw myself back in it
I only give up
What’s the point
Of living a life
In which I have to hide
In which I have to lie
I take my soul
Out of my body
I let it flow free
While my heart keeps stopping
My heart beats
Thump thump
My wrist bleeds
I’m out of luck
I’m out of time
Watch the hour glass
And see it trickle by
My memories are fading
My body growing old
My mind becomes weak
And my heart grows cold
My eyes begin to close
They flutter shut
The tears stain my face
Yet I begin to hunt
I begin to search
I look for a missing piece
It fucking hurts
I need this piece
I need release
My tears burn my eyes
But that only makes the pain ease
I might’ve hurt myself
In the past
I might’ve tried
And failed at last
But I’m still looking
I’m looking for me
I’m looking for the one
Who can set me free
Who can share my burden
And hold me through the pain
Sometimes I think it’s useless
That I’ve gone completely insane
But that’s okay
I need to hold on
Cause you could come into my life
At any moment and then be gone
I have to open my eyes
I have to let go
I have to stay strong
And stop the blood flow
This is the moment
When ill find myself
When ill find you
And you will help
You’ll heal me
And I’ll heal you
Together we will erase our pasts
And start a new
A future is the key
A future is what I need
You will be my future
I will find you, or you will find me

(2013)

Razor, Self-Harm, Emotional, Hurt, Hope, Survival, Self-inflicted

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