I’ve cursed myself
And mocked myself
I’ve condemned myself
I’ve beaten myself
To a bloody pulp
Using my own thoughts
My own fists
Walking in circles; lost
I’m alive
I’m still breathing
Just barely
But I have something
That the dead don’t
I have hope
I have hope
 
I have hope for things to get better
I have hope to bring change
I’m cursed with a killer syndrome
Wrong wiring within my brain
I’m trying to cope
The best I can
I have hope
Yet I have no plan
Bloody handprints paint the walls
Muddy footprints paint the floors
Staples connect the dots
Nails seal the doors
Breaking in is one thing
Breaking out is another
This killer syndrome has me counting down
The blood causes my drooling drown
I’m drowning in many things
I’m scratching to leave my skin
These demons keep knocking
And I’m so tempted to let them in
 
Somebody throw me a rope
Somebody be my lifeline
I’m counting down
Running out of time
This place is so sick
So twisted with disease
I’m cramped within this box of horrors
And nobody hears my pleads
I have hope to bring
Fourth new beginnings
But I’m running out of time
Nobody is winning
 
I have hope for things to get better
I have hope to bring change
I’m cursed with a killer syndrome
Wrong wiring within my brain
I’m trying to cope
The best I can
I have hope
Yet I have no plan
Bloody handprints paint the walls
Muddy footprints paint the floors
Staples connect the dots
Nails seal the doors
Breaking in is one thing
Breaking out is another
This killer syndrome has me counting down
The blood causes my drooling drown
I’m drowning in many things
I’m scratching to leave my skin
These demons keep knocking
And I’m so tempted to let them in
 
There’s bodies rotting on the floor
There’s skeletons rolling in their graves
To me this isn’t a game
To me this isn’t a faze
Maybe I’m high on psychedelics
Maybe I’m apart of a living freak show
It’s not just me anymore
I’m just going with the flow
A killer syndrome
Is a part of this disease
And maybe giving in
Killing; will finally put me at ease
 
I have hope for things to get better
I have hope to bring change
I’m cursed with a killer syndrome
Wrong wiring within my brain
I’m trying to cope
The best I can
I have hope
Yet I have no plan
Bloody handprints paint the walls
Muddy footprints paint the floors
Staples connect the dots
Nails seal the doors
Breaking in is one thing
Breaking out is another
This killer syndrome has me counting down
The blood causes my drooling drown
I’m drowning in many things
I’m scratching to leave my skin
These demons keep knocking
And I’m so tempted to let them in
 
And I let them in

(2014)

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