My social medi– a persona is the mime who just won’t shut up

I won the day when my antagonist branded me a reactionary because, of course, I’m an overreactionary

The Cheshire Cat and Schrodinger’s Cat couldn’t agree on a place to meet

We got the five day work week because that’s how long it takes a python to digest it’s meal

1. Make so much money you could he… 2. Remind yourself that “there’s n… 3. Tell yourself you need to feed… 4. Eat like kings

If we’re all afraid of change and if the more things change the more they stay the same then we’re all afraid that nothing will ever really chan…

The mean streets of easy street Lack any meaning– To get there, try going crazy But everybody knows You’d be crazy to try

Marriage is a safe harbor until the moment you harbor a grudge

One year Has seven dog years And one of God’s weeks Has seven days Accordingly

In the past walking into a cathedral made you feel small Now it makes you feel fat

It would have been enough Had God merely kept His promises But since He knows a thing or two About human psychology God always under-promises and over…

Life has given us pumpkins ostensibly for carving and smashing but I smell an opportunity though the opportunity cost

What I lack in hygiene I make up for in sleep hygiene

God isn’t dead which is another way of saying God isn’t unemployed and still has the same job just with a new job description

Alas Nobody wakes up in the morning To kiss my ass Miraculously I don’t wake up in the morning