If you leave well enough alone for long enough you’ll have enough to make you cry

God is a verb Woman is a noun And man is an adjective Put them together and you have Moderate

Why bother keeping score when death assures that things always end in a tie Soon you’ll be able to get rid of death

In the final battle between Good and Evil both sides were allowed but one weapon Good didn’t think twice;

We rent an apartment so my wife told me that technicall… I am the interim king of my own ca…

If you don’t believe I’m the Led Zeppelin of poetry just wait ‘til you see my poems go over like a lead balloon

A man wants the mother of his children to be a chef in the kitchen “imaginative” in the bedroom a shrink in the living room

If you can catch someone lying to… you can figure out what they want… If you can catch yourself lying to… you can figure out your own desire The former can make you rich

We can all agree that life is the number one cause of death But no one wants to admit that death is the only cause of ne… Nevertheless, we love our children

When they drew a winner It looked like we’d won By the luck of the draw But we came by our good fortune The honest way:

He should have said: If everything is permitted then God does not exist

We can be given responsibility by God but we can only take control

In a few years we’ll all look back on liberal democracy and fake laugh

Instead of the invisible hand bending self-interest towards the collective good we got the risible glad-hand laughing our selfishness off

I want to believe in God I believe in UFOs I don’t believe in recycling I don’t want to believe in what th…