In wristwatch advertisements the doomsday clock is always set to ten past ten

Maya Angelou says we have one hand to help others and one hand to help ourselves

Keep in mind that if you’re going to jump from the frying pan into the fire a golden parachute just buys you plenty of time to ponder

A charmed half-life is the time taken to lower your expectations to half their original value

My children have no idea they are living through a golden age of comedy

Time is a one way road that only goes forward so that you know which direction t… but you can still go the wrong way down a one way road

In a post-pandemic bid to remain relevant the SATs have removed all true/false questions in acknowledgment that such questi…

The never-ending apocalyptic refra… may just be yet another version of death’s denial: The world must be ending

The trick is to craft a conformism so elaborate that you convince yourself it’s bespoke

To get into heaven they tell you that you have to answer one question correctly and that there are

As an American I have a posteriori knowledge that Americans pretend without reason to a priori knowledge of the other

I’m always leaving things at church so the lost and found won’t be empty

In this charming reboot of a classic kidlit gumshoe series our eponymous hero Wikipedia Brown solves thought crimes by

Paper comes from trees but when money was made of paper we all agreed that money doesn’t grow on trees

Don’t talk to strangers; Sing with them