The difference between God and human beings Is that God gives you what you deserve Which is always what you need

When they replaced me at work with… I was suddenly able to devote a lo… to not being the creative type

I have a deep need for love but an even deeper fear of rejecti… and God is both the greatest gamble and the surest thing

In the last stage of capitalism the rich will be ascetics

We’ve taken the mystery out of lif… Which makes this a murder mystery Because in choosing immortality We are killing ourselves More accurately, then

Much like nuclear weapons the whole point of having vacation days is never to use them

Beware the self-loathing salesman who loves what he does– If you buy what he’s selling then you bought it because you broke it

After the sexual revolution men thought they could finally get what they want AND what they… while women believed they could at… get what they need AND what they…

Like a real life Picture of Dorian Gray my hair stays full even as my act wears thin

Acting locally solved climate change but now instead of a life or death situati… which at least had a degree of rom…

Inevitably my spirit vegetable was rutabaga

Men are from Mars Women are from everywhere else

Slow and steady wins the race because there isn’t any finish line

People are like whales who have gotten sick of plankton

The only reason to pursue fame is to forestall the possibility that you’re the kind of person who would die wishing you’d been more famous