Domination is feudal But resistance seems futile And lo, we canoodle With the large standard poodle We all know as boodle

You can’t watch sports these days… Father Time is undefeated Which is when I always quote Saul… “Vait a minute. Vat about Rocky…

There are lots of places to hide things but hiding them in plain sight is the best option for the things that people

If you’ve seen one mirror you’ve seen them all

Anxiety, like loneliness, is a sig… that something is very wrong and amidst an epidemic of anxiety with no end in sight the greatest danger lies in

I couldn’t believe that my first e… was still carrying a torch for me and then I saw all my other ex’s b… carrying a pitch fork

If you really loved robins you would stuff your bird feeder full of worms

If you don’t believe I’m the Led Zeppelin of poetry just wait ‘til you see my poems go over like a lead balloon

Free speech is when you can say anything you want as long as you don’t really believe it

My matchmaker couldn’t find me any… but she suggested I go to the bing… and focus on the woman who played the most cards per game

Lunch is born free but everywhere is in chain restaurants

I tried doing everything right Until I dug a hole Took a right turn at Albuquerque And realized There are no straight lines in my…

As AI gets smarter and smarter we’ll grow cuter and cuter until like a pug who struggles to breath… we’re too cute for our own good

There is hiding yourself and there is hiding from yourself; the former is often

I was happily feeding at the trough when I noticed it had been filled with finger food