One wonders how they arrived at the 140 character limit per Twe… Did they consult the Kabbalah the average length of haiku or the heart rate of the hummingbi…

The dictatorship of the professori… uses neologisms to prevent counter elocution and to speed the transition to authentic sophism and the

Time marches on and for mere mortals it marches to the beat of its own… which is how we got rhythm But the immortals found

Why would they still offer A penny for our thoughts When they can buy in bulk

We like to think That the solution to our problems Is coming together As one human family When this whole time

I knew Remain was in trouble when they announced that a vote fo… was also a vote in favor of renami… Brexit McBrexitface

A funny thing happened when I told them that you can either laugh or you can cr… No one laughed but for a second

The truth is always at a disadvant… because while you can harness truth in service of a lie you can’t tell lies

The difference between God and ma… Is that man can’t abide A free Jew While God will abide With the Jews

When they drew a winner It looked like we’d won By the luck of the draw But we came by our good fortune The honest way:

It’s easy to choose between good and bad So, when there are no good choices most people take the easy way out

I thought my alarm clock woke me up each day but the day I realized it had always been a false alarm was the day I realized

The Kantian ethic of treating oth… never really took off largely because Immanuel overlooke… rather obvious catchy slogan: Love squanders all

You could say I tried stand-up but for the audience it was more like when the flight attendant demonstrates how to put on your own oxygen mask…

Steely Dan sings “I don’t wanna do your dirty work… again and again only once intoning “I foresee terrible trouble