I put out a comedy album Side A was called Wins Side B was called Losses Only one side was funny
Yes, humans suck– that’s a universal The reason we haven’t been able to fix it is that being a human doesn’t suck for eve…
The banyan tree grows up around a host tree which eventually dies leaving the banyan hollow at its c…
You can’t learn to write because nobody knows quite how to… You can’t learn to network because everybody is already netwo… So when you pay tuition for a writ…
In the contest for your soul The devil has to play by God’s ru… You can’t ever get what you want Because you always become what you…
It was an offer I thought I couldn’t refuse: You can sit there and take it Or leave it Having nowhere to go
Life is either A whole lotta nothing Or a whole lotta love Nothing could be easier than love Then again
It turns out they were right when they removed the self-destruc… explaining You won’t be needing this anymore now that you have autocorrect
Were I not happily married to my Jewish bride I would have happily lived out the rest of my days none the wiser
There was no end in sight but we put an end to that by losing our sight And all we could hear was the sound of violence
If a time traveler got out of his… Here and now He’d surely say “You cannot be serious” Because serious people
The kingdom of heaven is like a tr… where gentlemen may remove their h… while all others must
History always repeats itself And we find ourselves once more On the banks of the Red Sea Under extreme duress To put it mildly
Nothing is esoteric The mystical is the every-day There are no secrets But there is a lot of denial
On a scale of one to ten One being the lowest Ten being the highest Rate yourself Then imagine
