Why bother keeping score when death assures that things always end in a tie Soon you’ll be able to get rid of death

The smartest gal in the room Is the one who realizes All the adults in the room Are emotional children Behaving like holy terrors

There is no theory of quantum grav… Because– Einstein notwithstanding– No one understands gravity There is no theory of God

In an earthly alternative to astro… We each get our own distinct Tree… And mine is a Pacific silver fir Another word for which is Amabilis

Many con artists have a moral awakening; even more realize that the only compassionate thing to do is continue the con

It took the spies of Five Eyes to tell that Putin wasn’t bluffin’ But just ask the staff at Five Gu… and they’ll tell you Trump’s MacG… He longs for Daddy’s approval

Everybody wants to rule the world And along come the Jews Claiming that God rules the world But nobody wants God to rule the… Because everybody wants to rule th…

I believe in God and I believe in liberalism The tension between these two beliefs

My wife is philosophically opposed to my habit of justifying things, say a bag of the really good kind… with the phrase: I deserve it

Democracy was superseded not by a police state but by a witness protection progra…

I’m converting to Judaism but I’m a Scorpio so, I have a head start

We thought it would last forever but in retrospect we were having a high time at low tide when the clam digging was easy and the eating was good

Rock and roll will never die because OK Computer replaced the world with itself

The people pleaser’s greatest mist… is believing that if you always walk the line you will never have to