The first half of life Is spent waiting for the inevitabl… But inevitably, you get distracted… Because a watched pot never boils The second half of life

In a real life version of the ugly duckling discovering h… I was the reject popsicle stick who at long last found out I was a handy tongue depressor

Hunting on your own might make you a lone wolf but thinking for yourself makes you a lone ant

They say You can run but you can’t hide Which is why the One Ring With its power of invisibility Is so seductive

The human condition is either thinking that we’re free when we’re actually held captive or thinking that we’re captive when we’re actually free

Happy me, happy precis: Happy wife, happy life

As usual, the materialist is half-… When he insists life (By which he means his life) Is no laughing matter But he will remain a halfwit until

Looking back on college it’s unclear if I was a party animal party mineral or party vegetable

Miss Suzie had a scapegoat The scapegoat was Hillel Miss Suzie went to heaven The scapegoat went to Hello terminator

If, after 10/7 you have the chutzpah to ask What just happened? their answer– It didn’t just happen–

The pandemic lockdowns were the pa… and penultimate nonevent because o… limits of human imagination– We could only imagine shutting everything down

I’ve long since stopped working on myself but I work overtime on my curated self

Everyone thinks Vladimir and Estr… stay together because they’re both waiting for Godot when really it’s their mutual disdain for Wile E. Coyote