He was the kind of husband who when his wife asked him to stop sa… complied but started looking for excuses to… panda bear

My astrologer credited her work wi… for the discovery of a thirteenth… Jello the Jellyfish which shares the sting of my erstw… but is distinguished by a spineles…

Faced with a forced choice The agnostic feigns ignorance For if you ask a woman to marry yo… And she says I don’t know

Our glass Is an hourglass And whether it is half-full Or half-empty Time is running out

If the honeymoon is over And things have gone leaden Rejoice, you have a lot of work to… Which is known as the golden age

As mysterious as the caterpillar bursting into the butterfly a lifetime of following all the ru… somehow prepared them to change all the rules

Afraid that everything I wanted was nothing to write home about I was left with nothing to write home about

Heads I bite my tongue Tails You cut it off

If I say yes That’s just a guess If I say no Then I don’t know If I say maybe

I can’t guess your age but I can guess your age when you got that tattoo

If you want to predict the future determine what is most taken for g… and imagine a world without it I predict a future where words will be replaced

Philosophers dream of “The view from nowhere” Granting pure objectivity Instead, we got the internet’s View from everywhere

It’s when all the signs say Everything must go

They say if you expect disappointment then you will never be disappointed But I say