When we asked Jesus to explain the mechanics of the last being first He answered in yet another parable… It’s like when you’re playing tug…
The day I found out I was as deep as a basket of botto… was the same day I learned that the problem with fishing for compl… is that you can’t throw them back
Lunch is born free but everywhere is in chain restaurants
If you want to feel a little bit guilty just break a rule or two But if you want to feel well and truly guilty
I used to say Nothing to see here but now that I’ve embraced transparency there really is
Reason is a gift from God But it is not the path to God There is a reason for this: God’s love for you is unreasonable
People will only tell the truth when they think they can get away with it For example, perjury laws only wor… by publicly threatening jail time
The lamppost is an outpost Where it’s safe to admit That between you, me, and the lamp… Self-knowledge is over-rated Self-deception is automated
Happiness is the moment after the weight of the world is lifted from your shoulders and before it lands on your toe
When I was young we always said If you’re gonna be a bear be a grizzly bear! But now everyone’s become
When I die I’m go– ing to donate my body to pseudoscience
In the old country song When Mac Davis sings “Oh lord it’s hard to be humble When you’re perfect in every way” I always assumed
Everyone has a shoe size and a city size– I wear an 11 and a half and a 600,000
It’s a truism that life is a roller coaster ride But it’s also true that unlike a roller coaster things get even more interesting
The difference between sports and real life is that if Love played basketball against Empire, Hate, Violence and Death and won