Knowing that everyone agrees you remind them of indoor furniture on the porch tells you nothing about what each of them thinks of you

I’m the kind of guy Who doesn’t ride a motorcycle But always wears a leather helmet

If you accept this mission This message will self-destruct In five seconds So that you can be born believing… Which is the necessary condition

Thinking that the purpose of life… things looked good enough on the s… to believe that my life was 24-karat gold Who knew that the purpose of beaut…

The only way God can love us all the same amoun… Is by loving each of us infinitely And the only way God can love each of us differentl…

The world is a cast of characters Social media is a caste of caricatures

Before Descartes, you had to prove yourself with deeds After Descartes, you could prove yourself with words It’s been a war of words ever sinc…

The only reason that people wear clothes is because they have language

You have bathed in the Fountain o… Every time you wash off the sweat After a hard day’s work

In contemporary materialism the miracle of consciousness is filtered through zeros and ones making One a number of things with zero chance of going right

Because I was both my private and public self I was neither and my trail went cold from there But now that there are neither

My wife and I have remained happi… because she recognizes me as capta… as long as I acknowledge her as air traffic control

When the shit hits the fan at least I know I won’t be wearing flip-flops

When someone says Ask me anything You wonder what you’re not allowed… But that’s exactly what you can’t… Because they don’t know

I always liked making people laugh until my undergraduates told me that it was an abuse of power asym…